There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
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I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
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Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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