saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
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