There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
