Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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