carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
