I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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