Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
