im six kinds of drunk right now
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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