so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
