i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
