when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize