i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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