ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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