"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
