i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
