his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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