i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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