I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
