trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
