My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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