Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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