haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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