saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
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You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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