So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
