i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
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he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
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I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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