My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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