sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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