After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
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She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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