i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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