oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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