Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
