Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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