i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Nicole vs. Life
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize
