Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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