I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
