ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
