Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
