it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
