Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
