jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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