A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
