If that was your dad, he is hot
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
