I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
