Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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