I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
