Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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