its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
