I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize