Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
