I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
