Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
