The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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