I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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