Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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