She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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