well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
