I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize